What's a 'zhe'?

I'm sorry to say it, but this is probably the first of a number of days in which I have no current material to discuss, so I'm going to relay a short story of something that happened to me about a year ago. Hopefully this will serve to entertain and enlighten somewhat.

I was on a ski trip with my friend Darren. We were at a random bar in the downtown, trying to warm up from the -20 degree temperatures, aided by our 4th pitcher of beer on the night. Upon returning from the bathroom, Darren had a wild, terrified, and confused look on his face. He relayed the proceeding to me. An angry and confused man was repeatedly yelling, "What's a zhe (pronounced like soft 'g')?", "What's a zhe?", "What's a zhe?". Darren did his best to ignore and tend to the business at hand. Unfortunately, then the man focused more squarely on my ill-fated friend and began to shake him at the urinal demanding an answer. Only by the grace of God did he avoid a very "messy" situation.

At the time neither he nor I had any idea what a "zhe" was, but I happened to run across it sometime later. "Zhe", for those of you who do not know and I assume that is the majority, is another way of saying he or she, to be politically correct. It corresponds to "zher" the possessive and "zhim" the accusative. I hope this has been enlightening.

Another somehow related story... A few weeks ago I went with my family to La Mex in Joliet, on a Tuesday night (half-priced margaritas). Before we left, both my dad and brother went to the bathroom. Inside, as the story goes, there was a very drunk man who starting talking to my dad about something or other. My dad something to him like, "You like that cactus juice (referring to the tequila in the margaritas)?" The man seemed to instantly become infuriated, yelling "Cactus juice! Wait, what the hell is cactus juice?" My dad told him it was tequila. The man was not satisfied, and continued to yell. "Wait, is it a margarita or tequila or cactus juice?" My dad answered, "It's all of those things." Caught in a web of circular logic and still unsatisfied, the man began furiously banging on the door of the stall in which my brother was sitting. "Hey you! What's cactus juice?!" My brother remained silent, which drove the man into a frenzy of pounding. He eventually burst from the bathroom and brought the question outside.

Now for the learning part. Tequila is made from fermented and distilled agave, which is technically a 'succulent', but often mistaken with a cactus, as both plants come from a desert habitat.


Agave