I'm not gay. I love bicycle shorts! Oh wait, maybe I am gay.
The few poor souls who love the Canadian sitcom "Trailer Park Boys" will appreciate the reference in the title, but moving on...
Today, as previously alluded to, I went on a hardcore mountain biking scavenger hunt, Kandersteg "Bike-Plausch", with my host "dad", Peter. Also, I believe I told you I thought he kick my ass, but that I wouldn't be the one giving up under any circumstances. I hold firm to my promises. Of course, I'm not sure if he knew we were racing or that I was trying to outlast him as a matter of national pride, or that we are natural enemies. That aside, my strategy with drafting. I decided to start by following him, analyzing him, seeing what makes him tick. I was unimpressed. He was an amateur: constant speed, relaxed attitude, stopped to take water a couple times. I'm thinking, " You just don't get it, old man. Your attitude never got "your people" anywhere. Always neutral, always easygoing. Now you have the highest cost of living on earth. Big, fat non-confrontational loser."
After about 2 hours of moderate climbs, we reached a very steep climb. It was a really beautiful path with tunnels through the mountains and some awesome views of the valleys.
You see, sometimes life throws you a curveball. It seems that poor Peter was experiencing some pain from a double hip replacement he had last year. He had to dismount the bicycle and walk the bike up a substantial portion up the mountain. HAHAHAHA!. I saw his weakness at that moment, and, in a great display of American power, I pumped my legs furiously to overtake him and never looked back. Luckily, I didn't have to. He caught up with me in a couple minutes.
Long story short, a more or less kept up with the 55 year old man with two titanium hips and who probably was at least putting in some effort. I'll take my victories. I got a really sweet T-shirt for achieving at least 4 of the 12 checkpoints (we got 7), 5 hours of bike-riding leaves me feeling like I just got back from a rough night at federal "ass-pounding" prison. Tomorrow I have a date with Peter and Elvina for some hiking followed by a run with Elvina "if I feel like I want some more exercise". It's the 61-year-old's first day back from a severe cold, so I think she might have a race on her hands.
Also, Swiss people are crazy, and below is a picture of me in a delicious bicycling getup...
posted by Ben @ 3:35 PM
3 Comments:
ben--
your bike shorts are delicious. good thing you had them to display your strong american physique for peter during the scavenger hunt. i probably would have died biking that much, i can't even make it through spinning class. i want to hear about the job, and hope it's going well ... i'm so jealous, switzerland is outstanding!! we miss you :)
What's up Ben!
There's nothing wrong with that!
How's Swiss?
mmm... I think you should take out the last line.
Well, good luck and bring some swiss girls over!
Later
Ben, I have never been so turned on. My only wish is that you are covered in oil and wearing that getup when I next see you. Raaarrrr. All declarations of homosexuality aside, I wish I could be there racing you up those mountains. I never got my revenge from that 400 m debacle back in high school. Have a few extra beers for me tonight.
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